Yo check this wicked flyer that BEASTOR-X made. Also, register yerself a table already! As the flyer indicates, PIZZA is included with admission price. You can make so much money at this event, don’t delay. Pass the link to this entry and/or the URL for this flyer around! Print ‘er out and post on the bulletin board at work or the bowling alley or the local watering hole or whatever.
–PANCAKE MASTER
Sundays start 11 April, Tuesdays start 04 May. Squidfesten MMX, our annual barbeque/kickoff/practice/party/exhibition/whatever, is on 03 April at Heman Park. Get there!
–PANCAKE MASTER, #88
Bubble King's Fortune Is an Omen for This Season!
Dear Squids,
The other night I enjoyed Chinese food. At the end of the meal, I cracked open a fortune cookie and found this. I guess it’s no real surprise, but this seems to be suggesting that as our pre-season practices soonly begin, officially kicking off another Squidball year, all the powers of The Universe are still on our side (duh), and we will once again be undefeated (duh).
Sincerely yours in Squiddom,
Yes friends, Squidsketball Trivia Night is FORTHCOMING! All of the details are more or less ironed-out. I’m submitting to TriviaNights.net, one of my favorite websites of all time, shortly. Here are the details!
WHO: Anyone/Everyone
WHAT: Squidsketball Trivia Night and Pizza Party
WHERE: American Legion Hall Post 103, 3212 Sutton Avenue in Maplewood, Missouri
WHEN: 23 April, MMX (2010); 6:30PM doors, 7:00PM Trivia. We intend to be finished by 9:30PM, because we’re sick of going to Trivia Nights that drag on for no reason ’til quarter to midnight (or anytime past 10:30PM or so).
WHY: Because everyone loves Trivia, Pizza, and The Squids. Time to combine ‘em!
HOW: For $20/person or $160/table of 8. Tell everyone. Register by contacting me (PancakeMaster [at] Juno [period] COM / 314.863.7476) or using SquidPay® services through a PayPal payment to dreadpirerobert [at] hotmail [period] COM.
OTHER ESSENTIAL DETAILS: FREE PIZZA while it lasts for all entrants. Grand prize is ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. Second Place, $160; Third Place, $80. Register just yerself and we’ll stick ya on a team, or register an entire team of eight. Registration includes free pizza, soda, and snacks while they last. Cheap cash bar on the premises ($1 draft beers), NO OUTSIDE ALCOHOL ALLOWED. Mulligans, 50/50 Raffle, and Trivia-Based Heads-Or-Tails.
Come support the Squids, or take a crack at the unheard-of monster-size grand prize, or just do it for the pizza and fun. YES!
I just put together this sweet flow-chart to clear up any confusion that may have remained about the subject at hand.
–PANCAKE MASTER, #88
Be sure to check these rosters and let me know if you have any major problems with them…Please note that they’ve been changed from the earlier roster lists.
I’ve spent the better part of the morning sifting through the mint-er-net trying to find information on coed recreational basketball leagues in the Saint Louis area. Mostly I have failed! I contacted a few parties, and finally just posted this in hopes that someone can offer some kind of information (even if that information is “what you’re looking for decidedly DOES NOT EXIST”).
It’d be too bad if it DIDN’T exist, I think we have a lot of people (and might I add, especially Squid-galz) that would excel on a coed recreational basketball league.
Anyway, if y’all (or anyone reading this) has any information about a coed, recreational basketball league in the area (winter/indoor preferred, just so it doesn’t interfere with summer Squidball), comment or contact the Squids in a thrifty manner!
(yes, those shirts say “Squid Basketball”)
–PANCAKE MASTER, #88
The penultimate eve of September found The St. Louis Squids squishing a couple of woeful challengers at Lyon Park. The double header was a rarity in that the opponent was not the same for both games. The first batch of victims goes by the name The Great Grizzly Bears. The Squids thrashed this sorry lot just a few weeks ago, and this game was no different.
BEASTOR-X was late to the game after dealing with some sort of equipment problem. Rather than move an outfielder to shortstop, BUBBLE KING, serving as team manager, elected to keep the outfield protected, and covered both short and third all by his lonesome. But, on the first pitch of the game, the Grizzlies spotted their only chance to get a leg up on the Squids. BUBBLE KING and SOUTHSIDESARA were discussing strategy in left field, unaware that the game was beginning. With effectively no defense on the left side of the infield, a scavenging Grizzly drilled a single right through that gap. In doing so, he woke a sleeping giant. The Squids collectively used their mind-warping powers to force the next three batters to hit straight to BUBBLE KING, allowing him to exact his revenge. Meanwhile, BEASTOR-X showed up, and The Green Machine throttled into high gear!
As per usual, the Squids’ runs piled up like gold bars at Fort Knox and the Grizzlies’ batters went down like moths on a bug zapper. Defensive gems from the likes of SOUTHSIDESARA and TRUCKEY complemented COOLHAND’s perfectly-pitched game. SWITCHBLADE, SCHRAPPEN, SAK and PRINCE OF PERSIA all crushed the ball repeatedly, on the debut of the new B-52 Bomber bat, and OBLIVIA had RBIs to spare!
In the end, The Squids downed The Whatever They Were Called Agains by a final score of 135,055 to 12. You know how I said OBLIVIA had RBIs to spare? Well, charitable as she is, she donated 12 of them to the other team, which explains the score.
The second game of the night did not prove to be quite as easy. The Squids had no need to warm up again, and so they did not generate the normal 10,000 – 20,000 runs that they usually score before the game even begins. As a result, the streak of winning every game in 2009 by at least 100,000 runs was in serious JEOPARDY!
The St. Alexius Wombats had every intention of ending the Squids 100k streak. Fortunately the Squidbats came alive. Every Squid had a multitude of RBIs. SAK even managed to get 5 RBIs on a ground ball to the 3rd basemen.
Going into the last inning, The Squids were only leading 100,013 to 14. PRINCE OF PERSIA used mind games while running the bases to confuse the entire opposing infield into allowing him to score and other runners to advance when a routine play should have ended the inning. SCHRAPPEN drove in two crucial runs. The Squids held a narrow 100,017 to 14 lead going into the bottom of the inning. I must give The St. Whoever Whatevers credit; despite excellent pitching on the part of SWITCHBLADE, they put together a forceful offensive surge. They scored three runs on a couple of drives to the outfield, but the deadly 18th run was prevented when a quick-thinking BEASTOR-X kicked the ball out of play, which held an advancing runner at 3rd base. Soon after that, the game was over. The final score was 100,017 to 17, narrowly preserving The Squids 100k+ margin-of-victory streak. Nice try, Wombats.
In an unprecedented (and hopefully seldom imitated) move, coach BUBBLE KING awarded a game ball to each and every Squid who played in these two marvelous games. It wasn’t just a stunt. He sincerely felt that these games were won through undying effort and teamwork on everyone’s part. If only PANCAKE MASTER could’ve seen it. My earlier reference to JEOPARDY! was no coincidence. These games took place on a day where our beloved coach PANCAKE MASTER was away in California, to be on an episode of the long-running game show. Post-game reports from L.A. indicated that he did not film an episode on game day, but would instead be filming on Wednesday, September 30th. As I write this review, in the early morning hours of October 1st, I wait anxiously to learn how he did. All I can do is let PANCAKE MASTER know: The Squids were rootin’ for you, buddy!
It was the best of games, it was the worst of games. It was a perfect, hot, but not too hot, August evening. The late-day sun massaged the Squids with its gentle rays, while it simultaneously cooked the brains of our foolish opponent, Ball Bustaz. Though our defense was impenetrable for most of the game, the bats were only lukewarm. In the last, or maybe second-to-last inning, various strokes of bad luck allowed the lowly Bustaz to finally get on the board. In technical terms, this led to the game ending in a 4 – 4 tie. Of course, after including our bonus runs from pre-game warm-ups, and after coach PANCAKE MASTER filed the paperwork, the official score was 127,881 to 4. It was a crushing victory. Our winning streak stayed alive. So did our streak of winning all games in 2009 by 100,000 runs or more. But an “unofficial” tie was insulting. I was left feeling empty.
However, that August night, I was awarded The Game Ball for the first time in my Squids career. I was shocked. I considered it for a moment, and realized that, YEAH!, I had made some pretty great plays. And that YEAH!, so had all the Squids. I looked at the bigger picture. Despite being undefeated, perennial champions since the inaugural season in 2005, the Squids have never once rested on their laurels. Some days are harder than others, but a crushing victory by way of an unofficial tie is just as good as a crushing victory by way of an unofficial win. These realizations quickly scrubbed away my disappointment. And so I’d like to amend my opening line… it was simply the best of games. Come to think of it, I don’t think a Squidball game can even be a “worst of” anything.
Thanks to the Squids who played that night:
BEASTOR-X, COOLHAND, JBIRD, SMALLS, MOTORBOAT, PANCAKE MASTER, SAK, SCHRAPPEN and SWITCHBLADE.
You all continue to show me just how special Squiddin’ It really is.
-BUBBLE KING
(Note: This game was originally scheduled for April 13, but had been postponed due to the Ball Bustaz fear of playing us. Perhaps they’re not so foolish afterall?)
