Monday, May 18th

Squid Domination Continues, Winning Streak Now At 3 Years, 8 Months, 5 Days

FOREST PARK, ST. LOUIS, MO – The opponents come and go. Different venues host the competitions. Officiating crews vary. And yet the victories continue to pour in.

Pitchers COOLHAND and SWITCHBLADE combined to throw the 16th perfect game in Squid history, slugger SAK twice belted three homeruns in a single inning, and shortstop DONRUSS scored the team’s historic 1,000,000th run in a crushing, yet seemingly commonplace victory for the Squids over rival Ball Bustaz.

“You don’t ever want to take this group for granted,” said Squid first baseman CHUNSLIN between celebratory smokes. “It’s just such a special collection of people.”

Not once was the outcome of the game in doubt. The Squids, riding a near four year winning streak, entered the contest as possibly The Greatest Recreational League Softball Team ever. The Ball Bustaz entered as losers of two of their last three games.

“I’d like to say it was embarrassing losing by six figures,” said an unidentified Ball Busta. “But the fact that we even got to take the field with such a legendary franchise – wow!”

The Squids burst out of the gate with crushing drives by JENNIE and MOTORBOAT, capped off by BUBBLE KING‘s bases-clearing homer. Later innings saw defensive gems at third base by SUB A DUB and at second by LIZ, even despite uniform malfunctions. These efforts guaranteed that the winning streak that started on September 13th, 2005 would continue on.

“I’ve been here since the beginning [of the team],” said founding father Squid DONRUSS. “I’ve seen the highs as well as the… well, there’s really only been highs. I just feel so lucky to be a part of it all.” DONRUSS then broke down emotionally and had to be consoled by Squid outfielder BEASTOR-X.

Next up is a June 1st contest versus Mike Duffy’s, a team that has only known defeat at the hands of the Squids.

“You don’t ever want to be too overconfident coming into a game because in this league anybody can beat anybody on any given night,” stated Squid staff ace COOLHAND. “But if history tells us anything, it’s that you shouldn’t fight a land war in Asia and you shouldn’t expect to beat the Squids. We’ll see what happens.”

-DONRUSS, #14

DONRUSS is a founding Squid father, frequent Squid commentator and shortstop, and award-winning AP columnist.

[Since he won the gameball for this game, DONRUSS did the write-up above. When you win the gameball, you too will get to do the write-up! --PANCAKE MASTER, #88]