SQUIDS BEAR ‘BEARS; BATTER BATTERED

The Squids’ Tuesday-night fall season at Lyon Park came to an explosive close last week, in a season-ending double-header against the Great Grizzly Bears which conjured everything imaginable between grand slams and slam-dancing.

Defense was the story of this series, and the Squids brought their tentacles at all depths of the field. With SWITCHBLADE slingin’ chin music and COOLHAND intimidating runners off of the basepaths, the Squids’ pitchers proved their dominance yet again. PAYNIS and DONRUSS brought their patented telepathic bond and cat-like agility to the middle infield on play after play and, combined with the steady gloves of SCHRAPPEN and MANNY FRESH, formed a coral-reef snarl of impenetrable infield defense. T-BAG and MIRANDAMAZING held down the fort out deep, but it was KRUKKER‘s command of the outfield that earned him a gameball: on one play, he ran halfway to Affton to secure a deep pop-foul. That’s how you put the D in Squids, kids.

Our other gameball goes out to [blank] for her heroic line drive, crushed with such force that she was thrice-injured in the process. Whether it’s because she sustained three injuries in one play; performed grisly self-triage on the field; or maintained Zen-like serenity during the whole ordeal, Karen redefined big-game balls. Obviously that gets a gameball. (Mend up, Karen!)

In the second-most bizarre side note to the evening, the Squids were out in the field as a car rolled up about 30 feet from our bench. Out leaped four dudes, slam-dancing around the vehicle to the bonecrushing sounds of the most viciously heart-splitting hardcore. The driver rattled off six or seven pictures and then– vroom!, as if some other place were in desperate need of a thirty-second hurricane of noise. Weirdest half-minute of the abridged season.

Anyhow, the Squids’ bats seemed to feed off [blank]‘s hard-nosed determination, turning up the heat as the night wore on. Softballs hit by T-BAG, DONRUSS, and SWITCHBLADE and several other punishing Squid blows might still be rolling around on I-55 right now. Not to mention the Squids’ baserunning hustle, unparalleled in the Lyon Park league (or anywhere, for that matter), and it was exemplified on path-burners by JANTERNET and PANCAKE MASTER. Hustle like that isn’t learned, it’s beaten into you in practice.

(Just kidding, it’s safe, GO TO PRACTICE!!!)

In short, the Squids managed a triumphant finale, even without the power of the malfunctioning Squidbox behind them. Big love to the Squids for giving me lots to report; too much effort for one article to cover all the sick moves. Also, big thanks to the Grizzlies for their sportsmanlike play and all-around good attitudes. They were truly worthy challengers, despite getting Squidinated.